How do you fit all that in dem jeans?!
No it’s ok! You weren’t being rude! I just notice that some people get too worked up about these things and accidentally come off as attacking the person they’re trying to talk to about it. Or that they have really strong feelings that once you decided on a label then you are NEVER EVER allowed to change it and get a bit hostile to people who do. So I wanted to make sure you knew that before proceeding (if you choose too). Definitely talk to her in private if you do. Don’t want the parents to overhear and get all grumpy.
Hello, Ms. Handsome. I got an issue. My cousin, whom I care about very deeply, is gay (at least the last time I talked to her) she was 100% lesbian. Now, I'm not really sure what she is. A couple weeks ago, our family and I flew out to our grandma's 100th birthday party and she brought her boyfriend with her. Now, at first, he didn't really seem nice, but eventually we got to know him and he's great. I still don't know how to talk to my cousin about this or open up conversation. What do I do?
I think that it doesn’t really matter if you talk to her about it or not! Because, in my opinion, her sexuality isn’t really something that needs to have conversations about. Perhaps this boy is an exception to her lady face kissing or maybe it’s not, but she really likes him. And that’s great! Liking people is great and it’s extra great when they like you back. Sexuality is fluid for some people and it isn’t always something that is in a fixed state that never changes. I think labels are good to help people have an identity, but I don’t think they should be strictly black and white and once you are labeled something you can never EVER stray from that label (because some people do). As long as she’s happy, then that should be good enough.
BUT IF YOU REALLY MUST SPEAK TO HER ABOUT IT, then try not to come off as accusing or attacking her sexuality! Ex: “So you’re straight now?”, “So you’re not a lesbian anymore?” “Are you bisexual or something?!”, “Why are you dating a guy if you’re a lesbian?” etc. Try not to invalidate her past experiences with women either. Just because she likes a handsome lad now, doesn’t mean she doesn’t still like women or the past didn’t matter. Maybe ask her about her current relationship to soften your question? Such as how long they have been dating and express that you’re happy that she found someone that makes her happy. Otherwise, I don’t think there is anyway to ask her about her sexuality without coming off a little rude. Ask her if she likes “men along with women now that she is dating this HANDSOME YOUNG LAD”? Joke around and don’t be too serious about it. It isn’t a very big deal anyway.
TAKE WHAT I SAY WITH A GRAIN OF SALT, MY FRIEND! I am not super experienced or wise and this is just my personal feels. So I hope I helped a little!